**CONTENT / TRIGGER WARNING: This episode does briefly discuss self-harm and suggestions of suicide**

Episode 4 is here, and we’re getting personal in this month’s episode and sharing our experiences and insights of being neurodiverse, which isn’t really something we’ve done before!

We discuss the strengths and challenges of being neurospicy, as well as the impact on our past work and ideas. From navigating career decisions and expectations to acknowledging individual strengths, we hope you’ll find our perspectives on recognizing personal accomplishments and finding motivation to pursue our passions interesting and inspiring.

Join us as we delve into the struggles and successes of embracing neurodivergence and owning our unique abilities.

But first…

Sorry we’re a bit late with this one – as ever, it’s mainly a cat related emergency which knocked our schedule out. Miss Luna is now on the mend after a droopy tail caused a panic and several unscheduled vet visits, and life has been throwing all manner of broken things at us lately. But we’re here and all present and correct, more or less…

Back to the episode

Ok, back on track! For both of us, ADHD has been both a strength and a weakness – and we’re both late-diagnosed. Super inspired by Samantha de Mattos’s episode last month, we thought we’d jump in and chat about our own related experiences around neurospiciness and work, and see where the conversation went…

What we talk about

How an ND diagnosis makes you look back at your whole life, both as a whole and in narrative and at specific events, through an entirely new lens. Stories that have always just been put down to a personal quirk take on new meaning and perhaps feel different when telling them.

Red flags that we were not wired for traditional jobs, and the insane lengths it turns out we both considered going to just to get a break from the relentlessness of something we hated but were doing every day. For clarity, this is not a rational or normal thought process, and if you are in a similar space please talk to someone about it.

Looking back at previous behaviours which were distinctly impulsive but seemed quite normal for us at the time – even when they caused raised eyebrows from everyone else.

Trying so hard to fit in and follow a path which others seem to do effortlessly and which is the expected thing – and wondering why we found it so difficult. Finding workplaces where our particular quirks were a strength, and were valued and appreciated, and how much easier that made it to stay.

Knowing you’re somehow wired differently to everyone else, even before we had any idea about ADHD or AuDHD or any of the other ND stuff. Figuring it out slowly over time. Being an only child. Not being an only child. Having our own normal which wasn’t necessarily “the” normal. Squirrel brains.

Choosing very odd hobbies, and discovering 20+ years later that almost everyone else in those hobbies is also ND but most of them also didn’t know. Acceptance of that weirdness even while trying to fit in, and the complications that can arise from that.

Masking and how we can even mask from ourselves. Not gatekeeping but also not armchair diagnosing everyone who has a couple of traits. Using strategies that work for you as a human regardless of what your brain may or may not be doing wiring wise.

Talking to your brain like a cheerleader. Other people’s expectations and interventions and worrying about you when you’re making a decision that is unconventional but so right for you. Becoming institutionalised, and a job becoming part of your identity even when starting it was an accidental decision.

Work should fundamentally not make us feel that way. No one should be considering deliberate injury to escape a job. No amount of money is worth that.

Trying to explain to people who are wired to fit the expectations and who love the job and lifestyle we hate that we really isn’t what we want out of our lives, even though we can see they are thriving on the exact same scenario. You are not broken, we promise.

Realising that the jobs we hated weren’t inherently bad, just a very bad fit for us specifically. Navel gazing accusations but how that introspection was actually useful while figuring out new directions. How brilliant ADHD people generally are in a crisis or emergency situation even if we can’t make sensible decisions on a day to day basis! #

Strengths and weaknesses and how the same thing can be both in different environments – listen to Marianne Cantwell’s episode back in season 3 for more on that little gem! Flipping different scenarios around to make the most of what we are good at and minimise what we’re not so good at.

Oversharing and not thinking things through and ADHD tax. Persistence even if it’s for weird stuff. Assumptions about how easy & hard different people find things (spoiler alert – the things that are easy for us are not always easy for others, and vice versa).

Superpowers… and the conflicting feelings about that terminology and how ADHD actually feels day to day. Results vary because humans vary. Doing things at the last minute. Knowing that if conditions are right, you will fly – even if you’re doing something that should take six months in the last three days. (or, ahem, doing something you’ve been sitting on for at least two months the night before release, resulting in a delayed episode release due to a cat emergency. You know, just as a totally random example…)

Frustration and self reproach and remembering to give yourself credit because the end result is usually pretty damn good.

Dramatic timescales in the opposite direction – when you have an idea and you slip into hyperfocus and you absolutely cannot wait to get it done and out into the world. Using telling other people about something you’re doing to make a deadline you can’t wriggle out of or push back. Finding people’s questions about things you do almost automatically helpful for prompting development ideas.

Making everything look pretty for more dopamine – even spreadsheets, and especially your main workspace. Remembering that once you’ve launched something you can always update it. Having to trust yourself and your own judgement on things. Being proud once things are completed, however long they took you to execute.

Proving to yourself something is possible and how you’ll feel at the end, which helps to remove blocks because now you know you can do it. Like a self fulfilling loop.

Remembering that you have to tell people about stuff you do because no one has a crystal ball about what they can buy from you. Motivation – external like a deadline & not letting people down, vs internal because you’re curious about something.

The Dewey Decimal System (no, we also have no idea quite how we got there, but how satisfying is the Dewey system on the whole?!). Categorising your stuff, and having the proper places to put things when you are launching them. Systems, so your overthinking can’t get in the way too much.

Excuses vs actual reasons not to do stuff. Choices. Remembering that if you haven’t done something, you have done something else (this maybe makes more sense in audio than written down).

RSD and focusing on the bad a bit too much. Productive procrastination being a kind of superpower. Taking things we do easily for granted and forgetting they’re actually a skill or a talent. What you’re creating always has value.

And finally

Phew – that was a lot, with some very rambly bits from Carla – apologies, it’s an emotive subject! In case you’re curious about any of the things we mentioned, here’s where to find them:

Books we mention:

The Only Child book

Chill & Prosper

Organizing Solutions for people with ADHD

Our stuff:

Sarah’s shop

Carla’s Etsy shop

Get on Sarah’s email list

Get on Carla’s email list and the waitlist for the Academy

The Escape the City article is no longer online, but here’s a similar one on Careershifters from not too long afterwards